18th July

Reached office at 8+, whole office is empty... Thought vendor will be early but they failed to surprise me.. The earliest vendor come at 9+... Maybe I been through all these for "so many" times, this long maintenance work seem normal to me...

Since nothing to do, I turn on my laptop and listen to some songs.. If she is more observant, she will know that all the songs I played is those with special "meaning".. Slowly, one by one vendor came in and I do all the necessary arrangement. I know all these work is not under my duty to take care and she had reminded me of that.. But don't she think it is useless as my mind already set to cover for her? I am extremely happy to know her honest answer from her heart when she told me been with me, she feel happy.. All my efforts seem to be worthwhile.. I don't know how honest her answer is, but I choose to believe it...

Think the "greatest" thing of the day will be I suggested to cover for her during the evening, so she can go ahead with her weekly "appointment" with him.. Why I would do that? Cos I know the feeling of waiting, the feeling of can't be with someone and I know if she miss this "appointment", she will most probably get to see him again in a week's time.. All these will only result in unhappiness... If I let her go, I will be unhappy... If I let her miss the "appointment", she will be unhappy.. I really don't wish to see the latter, so I choose to cover for her.. just let me be the only person to "suffer" rather than two person... That also the reason why I keep persuading her to go off early... The longer she stay and I know she will be meeting him after that, it just make me more depressed....

Tonight got fireworks for NDP, I hope one day I can watch the short beautiful moments with her, just the both of us... maybe there is no maybe at all... I had sms her if she had saw the fireworks with him, she had replied no and asked me what time I left the office.. I choose not to reply as I know this might only affect her tonight mood... Each time she ask me what time I am leaving office today, I hope it is a concern from her and not just for the sake of asking or to feel less guilty.. Please don't feel bad or guilty for what I had done and pity or sympathize me for that...

Tonight is the only night that I feel not to reply your sms or waiting for u to online in msn...
"我不管你用任何眼光看我 我都不会选择放弃
我要坚持到底 忽略那些冷言冷语
爱是如此珍贵 值得我们彼此相信
两颗心才越靠越近
And no one knows
Why I’m into you
Cause you'll never know
what its like to walk in our shoes
没人会懂 是我们的梦
懂再多困难只要牵手 就变得不同
That’s why we'll break through
And I don’t care what they say
I’m gonna be with you
I’m gonna be with you
I wanna be with you
我不在乎怎么做
I’m gonna be with you
I’m gonna be with you
I’m gonna be with you
Seems like every day that go by
things are gettin harder
Want to be the one that
give you the whole enchilada
Cause I know what my baby like,
I lean you on that Prada
You ain’t got to match with the shoes
我知道每一次的沟通 就会让我爱你更多
跟一次的拥抱 温暖让我不再怯懦
爱是真实的触摸 美好或相同"
Be With You