9th September

I don't know when you will see this post... At first, when you start msn me, I feel very sad as you seem determine to reject me and choose him. But when we continue msn, I realise we both actually had feelings for each other but you refuse to admit it. Your trust and feelings had been decreasing for your current relationship but you also refuse to admit it. That why you choose to remember his good and forget his bad. You say you will still think of him when we are together but you forget time will fade his memories away. You are scare that our relationship might not work well, but you never try you never know.. Just like if you don't buy lottery, how can you expect you will get the prize? You are deceiving yourself, as in your heart you know I will be a better boyfriend or even husband as compare to him. You scare people will tease you, but we all are mature working adults, how much can they tease or gossip you? I think you had misunderstood me, I don't mind you keep it a secret of we are together to anyone even when they ask, you can deny also... If you told me not to spread a word out, my mouth will be tight.. We are together is only the 2 of us "business", why should you worry about others?

You always think how bad we will be together, but you don't want to think how good we will be together.. sharing the same interest, chatting the same topic, gossiping entertainment news, watching sports competition, eating all the nice food, exploring all the new places and shopping centres, going for flowers exhibition, catching magic shows, enjoying fireworks, covering for each other work, assisting each other in climbing up the career ladder, etc... You don't like his character but you still want to "force" yourself to accept and thinking there will be miracles that he will change.. If you don't dare to take a step out now, you can stop considering you will dare to take a step out in the future as you sunk deeper when the times goes....

Whether I can really be a good boyfriend or husband, you should already know based on the past 2 months you know me but if you want to confirm, you can asked around such as your boss.. If you want to know will I be affected by temptation and change of heart, you also can ask the guys how devoted I can be... If you want to know how filial I am, I think no one can answer you except my mother... haha... If we were together, I will discuss with you everything and ask for your opinion.. If it is really no good, I will listen to you... I seem to have understand you but I will not take this for granted, I will continue to pay attention to you, shower you with care, listening to your sorrows, needs and worries. Maybe what I listed seem that I am a "perfect" guy but I also got my bad points which I don't want to list out here. Maybe I will change if you ask me to.. I can promise you that what I had done is not because I want to go after you only, even when we are together, it will be the same or even better... All I want to say, done, promise I already did... Now is up to you if you are willing to take a step out.. Starting over again seem to be hard in the initial stage but you can take it as a learning process and experience. Don't worry, I had said I will be with you and faced everything with you, you will not be alone... I will hold your hands and give you confidence to tide over the "uncomfortable" period.. I had to say if we were together, you might shed your tears more times than with him, not because I will hurt you more but I will touched your heart more. :) If you think what I had said or written in this blog is nothing but just words or sweet talk to you, I don't know what I should do to make you believe. If you still have doubt with me or still insist on your current relationship, I will just give you my blessing...

Today is 9 September 2009, if we can be together, I promise my love for you and our relationship will last like the date triple 9 "久久久" (长长久久). (Even though this is sweet talk, but I will make it last as long as possible). I also choose to upload this blog at 1:28 am which is your birthday 28 Jan. I hope I got the honor to spend all your future birthday with you till you decided to leave me. :)