Even when we haven't together now, I already feeling proud of her. I don't like anyone to "look down" on her. That playboy kid told me how good is all his girlfriends and better than her. I answered him how good is her and his girlfriends all can't match. At least, she is a "good" girl and not those "problematic" type.
My life in office will be quite free after today returning of equipments. Shutdown over, nothing much need to be done beside those daily complaints. What should I do next? I had told her I will not ask her for answer anymore. What is her plan? To remain the same as it is? Should I remain to wait? or just leave as planned? She can't deny the "better" future we will have together, either can she deny that she don't have feeling for me.
Had lunch with my ex-colleague. Even though I can't agree the way he work but it seem like our situation is the same... We can put in 101% to our work but we get only less than 50% recognition.. Why should we work so hard? We both also don't have any "good" team members that can assist us... Why we always need to cover for others? When problem arise, it will be us to solve no matter we can handle a not. During "peace" time, we will be left aside... Our capability is not limited to the current appointment we in. If simple task I also need to do, what for need others? But the difference is he got an "objective" to work for... his wife... I work so hard for what? So capable for what? Help to do so much for what? For nothing...
Is really tiring... Is there really "一个人的精彩"?
I thought she might want to go out for a walk during lunch, so after my lunch, I went back to office to accompany her out. But she told me to packet for her when I already in the lift up to office. Then I U-turn back to 1st floor. Thinking is some time since she haven't eat her favorite tom yum fish noodle, I go and queue 30+mins to get it and also bought a fish soup for her boss. But it seem she prefer thunder rice to what I bought... :(
Why I can't just "ignore" or "angry" with her? When she try to divert the topic and say "don't want to talk about this in office", I was a bit angry and wanted to ignore her. But when she sms me to eat dessert, my "anger" appeased and chat with her again. Then she told me her eyes itchy, my mind immediately told me to get a contact lens solution for her, but in the end, I can only find irritation relief eyedrop. I don't know why I just can't get angry with her. Wanted to ignore her but once she sms me, I will forget what happened. When she tell me she not feeling well or her problem, I will want to help her in whatever ways I can...
Did my action today moved her heart? I think she is old enough to think who is good for her, no point I keep emphasis on who is better.. When she just come to this site, it is Michelle and Shaun wedding... Now is Fann and Chris wedding, will there be any change to my relationship with her?
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