21st September (Night)

Thinking back, most of the times is my 执着 that make things worse. If I can 看开, things might be better. Everytime we can be happily going out but after that, we usually had an unhappy ending just because I always pressure her for an answer... I should not do that again but sometime is just hard to control as I am getting impatient... Why can't 2 person that like each other be together?

Even though how much I "dislike" my family, I think is still my responsibility to show my concern. Although I don't require much help from them now, but I can't deny that without them, I might not be what I am today. Maybe I had start working since young, I know if I want something, I need to work for it. From my first handphone to my degree, I paid for myself, different from my 2 siblings. But I am also the one that "involve" and help out the family the most. If in terms of own and repay, I repay many times of what I had own.. Maybe I am destined to be a family guy since the day I born. By not letting them know my problem, they think I have no problem and they want me to solve their problem too. A simple thing become complicated... I am really not a superman... I solve their problems but who can solve mine? Don't they know how they treat others, others will repay back? 无私的付出虽然不一定会得到回报，可是不付出又怎么会有回报？

Changing people thinking is very hard. And so unlucky, I need to change 2 person thinking. First is my mum... She is too "traditional", why can't she just keep up with times.. always think with "traditional" thinking... can't she be more flexible? Her traditional thinking always give me problem directly and indirectly.. Second is she.. What should I do so she can leave him? Obviously, I am the better guy that can give her more happiness and she will be happier with me.. We both had feelings for each other... But because of the 2.5 years duration, she can't bear to leave him... haiz....

In the evening, received a call from site manager telling me a glass shattered again.. Too bad, I not within the area and got a family dinner, so I can't rush down.. But immediately after dinner, I go down and site manager also reached just a little earlier than me... as this is not our first time experience this, we just do what is needed but this time, vendor cannot be activated.. So I can said this can also be consider as a new experience. We (me, site manager, her daughter and her husband) knocked down the glass and cleared all the shattered glass pieces away. By the time we finished, it is almost 10pm... Last minute incident, what can I say.. that is our job... I think girl from the same field will understand this and can "tolerate" these last minute stuff if at that time, we are outside together. I guess that girl will not blame me... That also one of the minority reason why I like her because I know she will understand my job.. I thinking of asking her out for dinner tomorrow but I suddenly remember she got training tomorrow, so no choice, I don't want her to miss her training because of me....