8th August

A day full of disappointment. Thought I can spend a happy National Day with you. For the past 1 week, I had been cracking my head on planning some surprises and what to do for that afternoon and evening. In the end, your surprise is much greater, telling me to cancel it... I don't blame you.. family come first for you... All my effort gone down the drain... Never mind, it is not the first time.. One of my friends whom I known recently, disappointment, came and look for me.

I know tonight you had also put in effort in accompanying me for dinner and gai gai. I really appreciated but you seem just to "clock" the timing. After dinner, you can just told me you want to go home. Don't need to deliberately walk around just for the sake of last night blog. I thought you had something to say but in the end, no... I thought that night he had hurt you badly but you told me is normal quarrel, so is my over duly worrying for nothing... why you sound so serious in the first place? Sorry, I had accidentally saw you surfing the net for chalet and birthday cake. I know you intend to celebrate birthday for him. You told me you looking at birthday cake cause got promotion. So coincidencely, chalet is also on promotion, right? I think you should arrange to celebrate in a disco and invite all his friends, he will be happier... Since you already say he is very important in your heart, so where do I stand? The last? His phone call and sms is always your priority than mine... Why you say you want to reconsider on last thursday night when you hurt me deeply? Why you keep showing your concern for me? Just let my cough worsen, don't bother about me... Why ask me to rest more and have I reach home? What is your intention of asking? I know at this moment he call, I will just be forgotten...

You suddenly mention me about superband finalist, soul team member commit sucide cause of love. It is not surprise, girls are not the only one that suffer, guys also... They had loved and been hurt too deep... Who knows leaving this problematic world maybe is a relief to them...

Why I always choose to walk home? Cause I don't want to show my sadness on my face to anyone and also walking take longer time, I can also go back to the troublesome house later... maybe walking can also let me be more tired, so I can sleep better... even though it might worsen something... but why bother so much... who know what will happen tomorrow...
爱你 不是因为你的美而已
我越来越爱你 每个眼神触动我的心
因为你让我看见forever 才了解自己
未来这些日子 要好好珍惜

爱我 有些痛苦有些不公平
如果真的爱我 不是理所当然的决定
感到你的呼吸在我耳边 像微风神奇
温柔的安抚 我的不安定
所以我～要 每天研究你的笑容
ooh 多么自然

Forever love Forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后 你会是所有 幸福的理由
Forever Love