Counting down.....

Finally.... I can say finally... After so much, I had decided not to be the "foolish" guy to wait anymore.... Getting too tired with no result after so much effort been put in.... This blog will not be like last time that will be updated daily... From now on, I will updated as when I feel like it....

Surprisingly, when she told me the answer is him again, I am not as sad as I had thought of... I know no matter how much effort, concern I put in, how much I love her, how unbearing, I still can't replace him... If in the past, I will reluctant to let go and continue to persist... But this time, I can accept it so readily... Maybe I understand "not to persist something I had lost or that is not meant for me in the first place".. Since she think he is the "better" and more suitable guy, then fine with me...

I had "suppress" myself for so long, if all this had not happened, I will already been in a management role... I miss the chance to work under her boss 1-2 years back... If I had taken that chance, I believe I can learn much more and by now, my experience is of another level...

Her boss had expected me to have some decision but she never expected I will made a decision so fast... Maybe after so much people had leave recently had made her "see openly"... Maybe it will not be long that after my leaving will be hers... She is tired after staying in this environment for so long and don't intend to stay any longer especially of this switching over incident... But I surprise she asked me to take over her role... She had think too high of me as I know I still not qualified enough... I didn't know that I am so "hot favorite", a few others had said they don't mind working under me after their current boss left... Does that mean I can be their number 2 boss? Haha.... Even my own engineering boss had "release news" to outside vendor not to "touch" me... I thought he had "condemn" me... I never know I still got some "value" to him...

I said before "当两个人的关系不一样，谁也不许要再迁就谁".. From now on, when things doesn't concern me, taking in my hands is a privilege, not an entitlement... I really want to see how things will become if me or her boss didn't interfere... Will the office be turn upside down or will it be as smooth? Only time will tells...

The below song is been kept in this blog since 5th August... Never got a chance to upload till today... I still remember 8th August is the "first" time me and her decided to go separate ways after I asked her for her decision and she answered he is very important to her... After that, there seem to be chance that we might be together but never know in the end, her answer is still the same... I guess she will not remember that this song is also been played at a shop when we go Illuma on 19th June... So fast is almost 4 months had passed with so many happy and unhappy times in between... time to move on... no point waiting for something

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I'd wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you even see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far, all I have are dreams of you
So, I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you(Yes, I do)
Dreaming Of You