Saturday, as usual, a busy day for me. But today most of the work is not mine. I am just helping her boss to supervise some works. Suddenly she asked me is my CV ready and might want it anytime and we talk about the "hot" topic again. When I ask her how she see the chances of staying, I surprise that her daily "behavior" is a contrast to her answer. She can still be so "normal"... I think others will not expect this answer if didn't ask her. At that moment, I don't know if I should be happy or sad. Happy cause everything finally come to an end. Sad cause I really unbear to let go. She also admit that our working pattern is similar and if I want to go further than her, I should have some "changes" different from her. She also guide me how to be a "good" manager.
Even though changing desk arms is tiring, but this is one of the time when we show working as a team. Maybe this scenario will be ending soon. It hard to find manager that will "hands on" with her team. I like to work in such a team, work, eat, enjoy together. Just like today, after changing the arms, eat lunch, enjoy the Goodwood Park mooncake. Will we be eating mooncake together next year again? Recently she seem to have keen interest in my love life, always ask me this and that especially when I mention girls name. How I wish I can tell her "she" is the one I like. But I know there is no chance to do that. I guess she somehow know only me and her will do certain things and she ask me to go back early today, don't stay back for "extra" work. She rather "others" to come back tomorrow to do it. She once told me she really appreciated for the "extra" work I done and assisting her. Maybe that why me is closer to her than her own team members. Due to the appointment, there a limit she can let me involve. If she "rope" me in too many issue, it may show unfair to others. But I think if given a chance, my ability shouldn't be a problem to do all that.
I didn't deliberately ignore her today but I just don't know what to say to her. She sms me if I am still in office when all the work almost finish. After I replied, she didn't reply again.. Why she asked? Nothing to do or for the sake of asking? I thought she will talk to me today but she just remained quiet. Since she like pure silence, then let it be. I think she is meeting him out tonight, most probably overnight at his house again. Haiz... After so much up and down, she still be with him, what can I say anymore?
Tonight pass by Fort Canning again. Memories of we going to concert flood my head. So coincidence, I am eating sushi for dinner, same as that night. But I guess no more next time based on her feeling for him. She can still like him so much after the "flirting" incident, clubbing character and disappointing answer. Seem like I have to accept reality, I can't make her choose me... Once wind blow, it can't return back to it original position...
Seem like my guess is right... She just sms me good night but when I say she is at his house, she don't want to reply back... I think that is the silent admit.. But since she already have his accompany, why still want to sms me good night? What she really wants? Maybe he might be "不爽" after knowing my existence and her feelings for me.. But his 不爽 is regarding what? He jealous due to his feeling for her or he can't accept the fact that his girlfriend had another guy in her heart and make him "loss face"? He might also can accept a 2 timer girlfriend but I definitely cannot... Either she break, or I leave..... But is just a matter of time I leave after talking to her boss today... I can't find a reason to stay since she choose him...
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