18th October

因果，因果，有因才有果.. Do that really exist? I wonder what I had done to deserve this... I just want to find a suitable girl that can face everything with me, but it seem like it is hard.... All along I believe no one is perfect.. A person can't have the best of everything... My career might have passed with "flying colors" but in terms of love, I think I had failed... At this moment, I seem to have everything but short of "someone" to move on with me.... Maybe that is call fate...

Can she really forget about my existence? I can't... Does she still visit my blog everyday? How is she and him getting on? Still going on fine I guess... If every girls are like her that can't give up, I think there will not be so much breakup or divorce in the society... Maybe love is really a thing that can't be represent by value... Just like me and her... She can "gain" a lot of stuff if she had be with me but she rather choose him... That the fascination of love.... I hope she will not regret her decision...

I knew she is online... Even switching my msn to online, I also need to consider... I don't want her to be "distracted" by my online msn.. But maybe she will not be "distracted" at all, I guess she had given up on me totally... Only him in her heart.... But in my heart, I still hoping there will be a chance that one day, she will tell me that she had breakup with him and give me a chance...

I try to "force" myself to believe she is not that good... There are other girls out there that is much better than her... I can really be heartless towards her by ignoring her and minimise interaction with her. It is her loss for not cherishing me and one day, he will leave her for another girl.. But at the end of the day, I still can't make myself believe... I guess my love for her is too deep....

Magic show now... Is she watching?? Is a bit awkward if I remind her to watch now... I guess he will surely not reminding her as what I had done in the past.. Watching magic show is not his interest and he is not so attentive to her... Am I right?