19th October

I think the only way to stop thinking of her is to leave... The whole day I can't stop thinking of her... what she is doing.. I roughly caught a glimpse on her checking on air ticket. First thing came to my mind is she is planning on a trip with him. But even that is the truth, I also don't have any right to stop. When she start to talk to me or message me, my thoughts will run wild again. Thinking I still got chance... But I know that not the truth... I will be "wake up" to face the reality again when I hear her sms tone during lunch hours and I know is from him. Why I can't just forget everything?

Sometime I just can't but believe in fate... An ex-couple ( X & Y) both meet their the other half and get married. Y never attend X wedding dinner and had no idea of where the venue is. But when Y get married, the venue chosen is the same and even the same ballroom. How to explain the coincidence beside fate? Just like me and her.. We both had feelings for each other but not fated to be together... I just had to resign to it...

Seem like getting a partner for me is a "major" concern for her boss. Occasionally her boss will bring up the issue again... Maybe her boss also notice my "good" side, will probably be a "good" boyfriend and husband and last but not least, my working ability even though we keep on bickering.. I think if me and her are together, her boss will be very happy... But too bad.... I am not the one she want...